Problems with dating your boss
Or should I try and find a different job, and then ask? You have to continue working each other, and it’s not fair to introduce that potential for discomfort into her daily work environment.
But that part about reciprocation and paying attention to her cues really matters.
If you don’t see those things, that means you’ll need to back off.
This is pretty much always the case when you’re interested in someone but it’s especially true at work, since she’s a captive audience and you have an obligation not to make work weird for her.
Segal’s remarks came as part of his “Harassment Quiz” at SHRM’s recent Annual Convention and Exposition in New Orleans. Because in the real world, how does a subordinate say no? One good way to talk to managers is to make the point that some things go over the line the first time (for example, “Let’s have sex,” or the use of the “N” word) and some things go over the line the second time (the persistent dating requests).
Segal is a partner in the Philadelphia office of law firm Duane Morris LLP. Not wanting to say what she really feels (“I’d rather hang by pins in my eyes than date you”), she says “I’m busy.” The boss hears, “She’d love to, but she can’t this time.” So he asks again. Now back to the scenario of the supervisor who asked for a date, the subordinate refused, and it appeared that there was no harassment.